I’m not sure if it’s spring itself or this stage of life, but I’ve found myself feeling very heavy lately. My body holds future anxiety and reeling thoughts like a box of bricks. Luckily, I’ve never been one to shy away from feeling however I need to feel in the moment. If heaviness wants to creep in, I let it. I’ve learned how to cope and grow out of this feeling, and I’ve made this playlist to go alongside that.
This list is the primitive form of “feeling heavy, feeling sure.” It features 20 songs in the order they appear in the playlist and my favorite lyric from each.
Starting off deep and dark, part one is for sitting in that heavy place. They are songs of lament, frustration, realization, and discontent. If it is difficult to acknowledge these emotions, I encourage starting here. Take time to understand them, listen well, and learn what you need.
- class of 2013: “Mom, am I still young? Can I dream for a few months more?“
- no face: “Is it the bridge between worlds that makes you feel alone?“
- is there something in the movies?: “I only write songs about things that I’m scared of / So here, now you’re deathless in art“
- breathe again: “hold my breath until I’m honest / will I ever breathe again?”
- white ferrari: “You left when I forgot to speak“
- natural light: “I found a picture from before the fight /We’re in natural light / and You’re sitting on my lap like everything’s alright
- loved the ocean: “by the time you finally want me I won’t be close enough to keep you warm”
- give me a minute: “The city will move out of frame / But it’s still you who remains”
- lua: “When everything is lonely I can be my own best friend”
- lonesome town: “Maybe down in Lonesome Town I can learn to forget”
For every sad spell, there’s a glimmer of light, a deep breath, a pushing-back, and a resurgence. In the “feeling sure” part of the playlist, we come to terms with our circumstances and take in the knowledge that this feeling won’t last forever, that there will be good, that it’s okay to look up.
- …familiar place: “The mountain was taller than I could’ve fathomed / I hardly believe it from here at the bottom“
- slack jaw: “It’s an ache and it shines through me / A swallow in a cage”
- cigarettes: “There’s something after you”
- heroes and monsters: “It’s a wonder that this body doesn’t break / The moon’s gonna rise no matter what”
- rises the moon: “Oh close your weary eyes / I promise you that soon the autumn comes to darken fading summer skies”
- birds gave up: “When you come towards me my heart beats like bird wings”
- my funny valentine: “don’t change a hair for me / not if you care for me”
- comfort: “You’ll go outside, enjoy the sun / Soon you’ll feel fine to see everyone”
- evermore: “I had a feeling so peculiar this pain wouldn’t be for evermore”
- room for you: “You gotta know that you’re still loved, even if you can’t love back”
I hope you find some comfort here. Sending you lots of care.